DdayEve2008

BorisPop: its the eve of fathers day, my second, as your da-da. i feel compelled to write to you right now, as you are quite a ways off from understanding what i would like to say to you, let alone, without rolling your eyes if you could understand the words coming out of my mouth. before we hunkered down for bedtime stories tonight, i gave you a heart felt little speech, trying to tell you how much i love you with the hopes that you would at least feel the things i was saying, in your heart. you looked at me with intensity for a few seconds, kind of dwindled off, picked up your little fireman and held it up to my nose, and called it "Da"......that kind of cut the speech short, and we dove into books head first. you have had a couple rough days, and today was pretty bad. you are cutting your molar teeth right now, and in turn, you had some stomach problems that have had some rather explosive side effects. one major casualty in this bout was your car seat. so much so, that a new car seat had to be purchased. ask your mother or i about that later in life.
in the face of your agony of over the last 2 days, you still manage to pull out chuckles, smiles, and screams of gibberish (peppered with your short range of the english language). while it is very difficult watching you go through tough times, it always enlightens me on how special you truly are, as you just dont sweat the small stuff. you always find a way to let your happiness and well being rub out the obstacles. i truly could learn a lot from you.
i have already learned in the short amount of time that i have been your daddy, that so many things in my life that i have put so much importance on, just does not matter much anymore, and the smallest thing in my life, is the most important thing to me (well, that, and "it's" momma).
ive done a lot so far, in this lifetime, but nothing has surpassed the absolute joy of being your father, and your mother's partner in love and life. the two of you give me what i never thought i would ever deserve, and all i want to do is give you all the love, support, protection, and happiness i can possibly give you. if that is what my life amounts to, and occupies the rest of my time, than i am a very lucky man.
my fathering "skills" only come from wanting to give you what i would want from a father. books help. examples of parenting i have either witnessed or lived with (good and bad) help. and guidance from your loving mother helps me very much. im doing what i think is my best, but its hard to gage, when raising such a wonderful little boy feels more like pleasure, than pain.
i wanted to tell this to you tonight, but "Lucky Little Duck" just would not wait. you did, however give me the biggest, longest bedtime hug you have ever given me (you even stood up in bed for it) before you nodded off....so i think you knew, or felt something in the room that was bigger than the both of us, and were in your way letting me know that you knew what was on my mind, and for a fleeting second, i felt like YOUR son. people always tell us you have an old soul, and this, you showed me tonight first hand.
god, the goddess, or the gods, have blessed us with you, and i owe them all, big time.
-Da Da